CLMR
Welcome to my simblr! Here I share my sims, my writing, my thoughts and opinions! Feel free to send me an ask, I love to answer your questions c:
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Imma get back to doing Porsha’s wedding soon btw, my original direction with the story was to have Ash show up at her house demanding to be let in, and the police being called. And Porsha being so shaken she calls off the wedding.

BUT I think I’ve made you guys wait long enough tbh

I’m trying really hard not to trigger people with these Porsha updates, so please please please block the tags trigger warning, tw: rape, tw: sexual assault. Please ;-; I don’t want you lovelies being triggered.

Page 166
That day he came to the house, I should have just shut the door in his face. I should have told him nothing could make up for what he did, and that I never wanted to see him again. I should have done that, but I was afraid. In a matter of minutes he’d bruised me. In a matter of minutes he’d taken full control of me. And in a matter of minutes he stole whatever innocence I had left. If he could do that in a matter of minutes, imagine if he had all the time in the world, which he would have if I had told him to go away.
"That bastard was in my house!" Melonie screeches when she drives. I look down at my hands, feeling sick to my stomach. I feel so guilty. "I laughed with him, we talked! I thought he was a nice guy!" She shouts "How could I be so fucking stupid?" She grunts. I look at her and she catches my eye "I’m sorry. I’m sorry I just should have seen the signs."
"I didn’t want you to see them." I mumble "I just… I’m sorry."
"Don’t say that Porsha, you have nothing to be sorry for." She says, pulling into a parking space.
I glance up, we’re outside city hall. My stomach knots and I can’t catch my breath. My hands grip the seat below me and my eyes go wide. Oh God this is really happening. What if they don’t believe me again? Ash has influence here, what if he finds out I came here?
"Porsha are you ready?" Melonie says gently, unclipping her seatbelt. I tear my eyes away from the building in front of me and hesitate. Eventually I nod, and she smiles at me "You’re very brave hun."
She gets out the car and I do the same, my hands balling into fists and then unballing repeatedly as we approach the building. The officer I spoke to last time was extremely condescending, and didn’t believe a word of what I said. Melonie takes my hand and walks into the building with me. I try not to panic, but I grip her hand and she turns to me looking concerned.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Yes." I say "I have to do this." 
She nods and we approach the front desk, she says we’re here to report a sexual assault, and we are both ushered into a room with a female police officer.
—-
"Okay Miss Mendez, I have the report you filed a few years ago right here, can you just recount the details to me. Tell me everything you remember, nomatter how insignificant you might think it is."
I look at Melonie, I didn’t want her to hear all of this, she smiles and squeezes my hand reassuringly. When I speak my voice is shaky, and I can’t stop shaking my leg nervously.
"I’d ran away from the orphanage." I begin, clearing my throat "I-I met this guy, he seemed like a nice guy-" I turn to Melonie "You don’t have to listen to this you know." I say, silently pleading she’d leave.
The officer notices and suggests she wait outside for ten minutes, which she agrees to reluctantly. When Melonie leaves, the officer urges me to continue.
"He said he’d help me look for my dad… which he did he helped me and-and when I was upset he comforted me and offered to let me stay with him. I mean we were both out on the streets-"
"This man was homeless?"
"W-Well he was but-" She starts scribbling on her notepad, and I look over "No he has a place now… I said he has a place now! I know where he is!"
"I understand you’re upset, Porsha, but if you would kindly continue."
I frown “I just… We were both on the streets.” I pause to collect myself. I run a hand through my hair and notice now I’ve been crying. I wipe my eyes and then clear my throat “He gave this girl drugs, and I was really uncomfortable so I went to sleep early.. And I woke up and I was freezing and then he was on me and-and I-” I stop myself, putting my head in my hands. The officer reaches over and touches my arm gently, but I yank away. Reliving it is awful.
"As much information as possible would be helpful, Porsha."
I look at her, I’m crying again “I- He bruised me, o-on my neck” I touch my neck, wrapping my hands around it like he did “And on my wrists, and on my thighs I- I have pictures if you need them.”
I fumble in my bag, tears clouding my vision. I blink them away and pull out the photographs I took of myself the morning after. My neck is purple in big hand prints, my wrists have bruises and red marks on them. Scratches from the gravel have torn into my arms and legs on them, and I’ve taken photos of my legs. I close my eyes and hand them to the officer. When I open my eyes again she’s looking through them, and then adds them to the box full of my files.
"And you said you know where he lives?" She asks, and I nod.

Page 166

That day he came to the house, I should have just shut the door in his face. I should have told him nothing could make up for what he did, and that I never wanted to see him again. I should have done that, but I was afraid. In a matter of minutes he’d bruised me. In a matter of minutes he’d taken full control of me. And in a matter of minutes he stole whatever innocence I had left. If he could do that in a matter of minutes, imagine if he had all the time in the world, which he would have if I had told him to go away.

"That bastard was in my house!" Melonie screeches when she drives. I look down at my hands, feeling sick to my stomach. I feel so guilty. "I laughed with him, we talked! I thought he was a nice guy!" She shouts "How could I be so fucking stupid?" She grunts. I look at her and she catches my eye "I’m sorry. I’m sorry I just should have seen the signs."

"I didn’t want you to see them." I mumble "I just… I’m sorry."

"Don’t say that Porsha, you have nothing to be sorry for." She says, pulling into a parking space.

I glance up, we’re outside city hall. My stomach knots and I can’t catch my breath. My hands grip the seat below me and my eyes go wide. Oh God this is really happening. What if they don’t believe me again? Ash has influence here, what if he finds out I came here?

"Porsha are you ready?" Melonie says gently, unclipping her seatbelt. I tear my eyes away from the building in front of me and hesitate. Eventually I nod, and she smiles at me "You’re very brave hun."

She gets out the car and I do the same, my hands balling into fists and then unballing repeatedly as we approach the building. The officer I spoke to last time was extremely condescending, and didn’t believe a word of what I said. Melonie takes my hand and walks into the building with me. I try not to panic, but I grip her hand and she turns to me looking concerned.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes." I say "I have to do this." 

She nods and we approach the front desk, she says we’re here to report a sexual assault, and we are both ushered into a room with a female police officer.

—-

"Okay Miss Mendez, I have the report you filed a few years ago right here, can you just recount the details to me. Tell me everything you remember, nomatter how insignificant you might think it is."

I look at Melonie, I didn’t want her to hear all of this, she smiles and squeezes my hand reassuringly. When I speak my voice is shaky, and I can’t stop shaking my leg nervously.

"I’d ran away from the orphanage." I begin, clearing my throat "I-I met this guy, he seemed like a nice guy-" I turn to Melonie "You don’t have to listen to this you know." I say, silently pleading she’d leave.

The officer notices and suggests she wait outside for ten minutes, which she agrees to reluctantly. When Melonie leaves, the officer urges me to continue.

"He said he’d help me look for my dad… which he did he helped me and-and when I was upset he comforted me and offered to let me stay with him. I mean we were both out on the streets-"

"This man was homeless?"

"W-Well he was but-" She starts scribbling on her notepad, and I look over "No he has a place now… I said he has a place now! I know where he is!"

"I understand you’re upset, Porsha, but if you would kindly continue."

I frown “I just… We were both on the streets.” I pause to collect myself. I run a hand through my hair and notice now I’ve been crying. I wipe my eyes and then clear my throat “He gave this girl drugs, and I was really uncomfortable so I went to sleep early.. And I woke up and I was freezing and then he was on me and-and I-” I stop myself, putting my head in my hands. The officer reaches over and touches my arm gently, but I yank away. Reliving it is awful.

"As much information as possible would be helpful, Porsha."

I look at her, I’m crying again “I- He bruised me, o-on my neck” I touch my neck, wrapping my hands around it like he did “And on my wrists, and on my thighs I- I have pictures if you need them.”

I fumble in my bag, tears clouding my vision. I blink them away and pull out the photographs I took of myself the morning after. My neck is purple in big hand prints, my wrists have bruises and red marks on them. Scratches from the gravel have torn into my arms and legs on them, and I’ve taken photos of my legs. I close my eyes and hand them to the officer. When I open my eyes again she’s looking through them, and then adds them to the box full of my files.

"And you said you know where he lives?" She asks, and I nod.

I’d totally forgotten how gorgeous Porsha was!

I’d totally forgotten how gorgeous Porsha was!

2 hours ago · 8547 · ©
Page 165
I’m still on the floor when Melonie arrives, soaking from head to toe with the rain she slams on the door frantically. Both because of worry, and the weather. I pull myself to my feet and walk to the door, opening it for her. When she sees me she throws her arms around me, pulling me into a hug, and it’s the safest I’ve felt all day.
There’s no doubt in my mind I’ll tell her today. Having only told Cyrus and the police, I realise I’ve never acknowledged it happened to me. I’ve buried it, telling the police did nothing at all, all they did was blame me. I blame me too.
She sits me down and then takes the seat by me, her hand doesn’t leave mine when I find my voice and tell her why I’m upset. I tell her about how things were when I met Ash, how I felt I owed him. I tell her about that night, and how I stayed with him after because I thought I could change him.
She’s silent for a long time, she looks right at me with tears in her eyes, and then pulls me in again for a hug. My head goes onto her shoulder and I clench my eyes shut, shaking in her arms. She lets go of all her tears and cries, cries for me, cries because she didn’t know. When she finally speaks, she’s calm, and she sounds more like a mother now than in the whole time I’ve known her.
"Porsha. You don’t have to feel guilty, or ashamed about what happened, it’s not your fault." She pulls away and wipes her eyes.
"B-But I chose to stay-"
"No Porsha. Stop. That means nothing. You felt like you owed him for what he did for you, and he told you some bullshit excuse for his actions that are totally inexcusable. Look at me."
She looks into my eyes and I can barely meet her gaze. I know she tells me not to be ashamed of myself but I am, my face goes red with embarrassment as I look at her. She smiles gently at me.
"You didn’t deserve any of this, what happened to you was disgusting and wrong, and there’s nobody to blame for it but Ash. Him and him alone. You got that?" She says, and I nod slowly. She looks away for a moment, then back at me "Porsha, have you told the police."
I nod again “They… they didn’t do anything. I went with Cyrus, they said they’d look into it but they didn’t…” I trail off, looking down at my hands, which are being clasped by Melonie. 
"You’re incredibly brave for this Porsha. You’ve told me, you’ve had to live with this horrible secret for so long and I’m so proud of you for finally getting it out there. I’d like you to come with me today Porsha, if you’re ready, I won’t let them dismiss this so easily. You deserve to have some kind of justice for this shit. You’re a person and you deserve your human rights."

Page 165

I’m still on the floor when Melonie arrives, soaking from head to toe with the rain she slams on the door frantically. Both because of worry, and the weather. I pull myself to my feet and walk to the door, opening it for her. When she sees me she throws her arms around me, pulling me into a hug, and it’s the safest I’ve felt all day.

There’s no doubt in my mind I’ll tell her today. Having only told Cyrus and the police, I realise I’ve never acknowledged it happened to me. I’ve buried it, telling the police did nothing at all, all they did was blame me. I blame me too.

She sits me down and then takes the seat by me, her hand doesn’t leave mine when I find my voice and tell her why I’m upset. I tell her about how things were when I met Ash, how I felt I owed him. I tell her about that night, and how I stayed with him after because I thought I could change him.

She’s silent for a long time, she looks right at me with tears in her eyes, and then pulls me in again for a hug. My head goes onto her shoulder and I clench my eyes shut, shaking in her arms. She lets go of all her tears and cries, cries for me, cries because she didn’t know. When she finally speaks, she’s calm, and she sounds more like a mother now than in the whole time I’ve known her.

"Porsha. You don’t have to feel guilty, or ashamed about what happened, it’s not your fault." She pulls away and wipes her eyes.

"B-But I chose to stay-"

"No Porsha. Stop. That means nothing. You felt like you owed him for what he did for you, and he told you some bullshit excuse for his actions that are totally inexcusable. Look at me."

She looks into my eyes and I can barely meet her gaze. I know she tells me not to be ashamed of myself but I am, my face goes red with embarrassment as I look at her. She smiles gently at me.

"You didn’t deserve any of this, what happened to you was disgusting and wrong, and there’s nobody to blame for it but Ash. Him and him alone. You got that?" She says, and I nod slowly. She looks away for a moment, then back at me "Porsha, have you told the police."

I nod again “They… they didn’t do anything. I went with Cyrus, they said they’d look into it but they didn’t…” I trail off, looking down at my hands, which are being clasped by Melonie. 

"You’re incredibly brave for this Porsha. You’ve told me, you’ve had to live with this horrible secret for so long and I’m so proud of you for finally getting it out there. I’d like you to come with me today Porsha, if you’re ready, I won’t let them dismiss this so easily. You deserve to have some kind of justice for this shit. You’re a person and you deserve your human rights."

Anonymous asked:
How old are all of your sims? Love you btw xxx

Love you too nonnie ^_^

Okay here we go:

Samantha Grange - 26

Aurora & Noah Grange - 7 months

Cyrus Grange, Cameron Hale & Melonie Williams - 21

Porsha & Codie Mendez - 19

Eve & Riley Porter - 37

Leila Porter - 16

Anastasia Porter - 13

Anonymous asked:
The day I went vegan, I unexpectedly also began recovery. I feel like when I took the products of suffering out of my day, I was then allowed to stop suffering myself. Extending compassion to animals allowed me to extend compassion to myself. Just thought I'd share! :-) best of luck on your journey!

Oh wow that’s wonderful! Thank you so much for this message, really, you don’t understand how much this helps me. That’s a wonderful idea that by treating animals right you were able to treat yourself right, I think that’s amazing. Thank you so much!

Accidentally deleted Melonie’s skin, well fuck :’)

lettuceiscurrentlyinmyasshole:

simshare:

genuine question here

is it a good idea to go vegan if you have a history of eating disorders?

currently i’m in recovery, but i feel like i’m going to relapse any day now because i’m having a LOT of body confidence issues.

i want to be vegan, but i don’t know if it’s just an excuse for me to eat less? i don’t know. i want a cruelty free diet but i’m just wondering if it’s a good idea when i’m in my current state?

It’s sort of a case by case basis. Limiting what you eat and studying ingredient lists could definitely cause a relapse. But I know that some people developed a healthier relationship with food through going vegan, and it helped their recovery.
If you’re concerned about the effect of eating vegan on your mental health, there are other things you can do. You can work on replacing animal tested cosmetics, soaps, and shampoos with cruelty free ones. You can make a point of not buying leather, silk, or wool goods. You can advocate for the vegan lifestyle or get involved with animal rights groups in your area.
It would be great if some day you feel safe and comfortable going vegan, but if that day isn’t today you can work in reducing cruelty in other ways.

thank you for the answer!

while I might not go completely vegan right away, I can certainly help in other ways just like you said. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of that.

5 hours ago · 7 · ©